Monday, August 11, 2014


Youth has a lot to do with the continuous eagerness in seeking and finding a relationship. With not so many heartaches and bad experiences in that department,  it's easy to jump back into the dating game after a young love has dwindled.  Add some decades to the same old rigamarole and Dallas, we have a problem.

I'm all for the books, the guides that hype us and teach us how to talk to men,  find men,  text men, date men and hopefully marry a man.  But I honestly and truly believe before any of those things need to be considered, all things pertaining to a man need to be put on hold. That is until we first deal with self.

Like Honey BooBoo said on her show, I too believe we first need to red-neck-a-nize, i.e. recognize what our hang-ups are, what hinders us from getting it right the first, second and sometimes the third time. 

In my latest release S.L.O.W. Down, I share how growing up viewing what love isn't, played a big part in my relationships. Early in my dating world, my heart  pulled me into unions that resembled that same heartache and pain. There were tears, break ups and make ups which should have just remained broken. There were arguments, non-stop disagreements and a merry-go-round of confusion of what love was. So with that, I ran from love at top speed.

Then one day it happened. It all clicked. 

I looked around at those relationships which left others defeated, unhappy and full of disappointment. Although I definitely didn't want to take part, I finally recognized my fear of becoming consumed in the same had turned me so far away that I also turned from the great possibilities that were awaiting me.

So I now recognize  all relationships aren't the same. I also know that no one has to remain in those situations. But most of all I now know taking a chance on healthy love begins when all minds are clear, when the past is not compared to the future and life takes it's natural course.

The key to being free from your past is to first recognize how the past can hinder your future. 

Coming to terms with what has left an invisible scar, being honest with self and willing to move forward will start the process of healing the misconstrued view of love.