Monday, April 28, 2014

What is your deepest fear?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."~Marianne Williamson "

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Fear...where did this come from

Who am I and where did this come from?
I thank God for birthdays! Birthday after birthday, I’ve grown as an individual and have conquered one more item in my world I never thought I would. It seems the older you get, what people say and think about anything you do, just doesn’t matter anymore. So here I am.
I’m just a regular girl (woman) in an irregular world…and I’m single. Although I have enjoyed my single life to the fullest, having had relationships here and there, for the most part, I have truly enjoyed being Keshia, the serial dater. That is…
Until something on the inside of me switched without warning. It started with me having the overwhelming feeling of really, really wanting to try out a relationship after years of only tampering and thinking about them, here and there. That wasn’t so much the problem but it progressed with me not knowing where to begin, and even with the feeling of wanting to be in a relationship, not having the guts to admit it…That’s when I knew I had issues. That’s when I knew I had to dig deeper. Yep, I said it.
What was going on with me, is what I questioned myself…then the soul searching came, well only after I questioned a few close friend girls, that is. After just about all of them let me know it was time to at least TRY and settle down, I knew the time had come for me to slow down and reevaluate who I was and what I really wanted. THAT is not a pretty sight when you’ve walked to the beat of your own made up drum for so long… But I started.
The journey which I started and I am still on began with me slowing down and realizing my biggest problem: Fear.
Fear is a hindrance. It grabs hold of ones desires and dreams and leave you in a rotation of shoulda, could, woulda’s. Ever been there? The fear of the unknown?

Let's talk about it.

Are You Married Yet?

Being a fiction writer, I’m often asked many questions having to do with my writing and my novels. “When is the next book coming out?” “How many books have you written?” And last but certainly not least, “Is that story about you?” Which the answer is, no. But that is about to change.
With my love for writing, I have been able to share my fiction stories with the world. I have readers who are dedicated to my craft and my characters and they always anticipate my next big release. For that I’ll forever be grateful.
As a writer, the world of readers are hardly ever interested in the author. As long as the characters are up to par and deliver, the author can be a ghostwriter and still get recognition. But for me personally, those around me and those who knew or know me will beg to differ. The reason why…it obviously has to do with my dating life.
With the attention and the “Are you …” questions surrounding my singledom increasing, it made me wonder, “Is this normal or am I the only single woman who feels as though scribbled writing on my forehead read, “Go ahead, ask me?” And then I guess when people get the imaginary go ahead, the question that follows is, “Are you married yet?”
It doesn’t matter where the questions are asked; church, work, grocery stores, even at funerals. My statistical world of embarrassing questions suggest, when the question is burning on the inside, it’s a done deal, they’re going to ask you. And of course women you know the rest. After I answer the magical, “nope,” the conversation then become, “Why not?” Geez.
It’s very often that I’m questioned by friends from years ago, ex-boyfriends, coworkers and even family members on my relational status. I don’t hold it against anyone at all . It’s a common topic and plus I’m the same nosey person who tend to ask the same question of others…go figure.
The time has come to share why I’m single and what was  holding me back. Yes, I'll tell it all in my upcoming non-fiction summer release. But until then....

 What do you answer when asked the,  "Why are you not married, " questions. 
"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you."~John De Paola