Sunday, April 27, 2014

Fear...where did this come from

Who am I and where did this come from?
I thank God for birthdays! Birthday after birthday, I’ve grown as an individual and have conquered one more item in my world I never thought I would. It seems the older you get, what people say and think about anything you do, just doesn’t matter anymore. So here I am.
I’m just a regular girl (woman) in an irregular world…and I’m single. Although I have enjoyed my single life to the fullest, having had relationships here and there, for the most part, I have truly enjoyed being Keshia, the serial dater. That is…
Until something on the inside of me switched without warning. It started with me having the overwhelming feeling of really, really wanting to try out a relationship after years of only tampering and thinking about them, here and there. That wasn’t so much the problem but it progressed with me not knowing where to begin, and even with the feeling of wanting to be in a relationship, not having the guts to admit it…That’s when I knew I had issues. That’s when I knew I had to dig deeper. Yep, I said it.
What was going on with me, is what I questioned myself…then the soul searching came, well only after I questioned a few close friend girls, that is. After just about all of them let me know it was time to at least TRY and settle down, I knew the time had come for me to slow down and reevaluate who I was and what I really wanted. THAT is not a pretty sight when you’ve walked to the beat of your own made up drum for so long… But I started.
The journey which I started and I am still on began with me slowing down and realizing my biggest problem: Fear.
Fear is a hindrance. It grabs hold of ones desires and dreams and leave you in a rotation of shoulda, could, woulda’s. Ever been there? The fear of the unknown?

Let's talk about it.

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