O - Observe

Excerpt from, S.L.O.W. Down: A Single Woman's Guide to Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability and the Necessary Steps to Take Before Dating

"I’ll say the first three months of meeting someone are all about the representative; the person they want you to fall for. Of course he will put on his best apparel, use Colgate whitening and workout two times a day. Within six months things can change. His fabulous tux could be rented, mouth full of veneers and the workout regimen was only for the healthcare discount at his place of employment.  Yep, within six months the real man stands up and you get to know if you’ve seen enough or if you’re ready to see more.

There are numerous questions and scenarios that warrant the observation stage and give you the answers you need. Especially if his given answers are elusive with every question asked.

Questions like, are you sure you’re not married? Even though there is a tan line on his wedding ring finger. How about he says he isn’t in a relationship, but he never answers the phone when a certain number pops up. Wait, do you ever hear the phone ring or is it always on silent? Observe.

Is his place still being remodeled, the reason you haven’t been invited over? What about talking to him on the way home from work but he gets off the phone right before he get out the car? Observe.

Have you been dating and talking on the relationship level and have yet to meet any of his friends? The holidays are coming up and he goes to his family’s place out of town, but you don’t hear from him the whole trip. He loves to be around you and your kid but he has yet to set up a play date for you and his. Observe."